Saturn moon has ‘almost all the ingredients to support life as we know it’, says NasaThe hacking group Anonymous believes that Nasa is on the verge of announcing proof of alien life. For years, the space agency has been trawling through the universe, probing galaxies and solar systems, sifting through cosmic dust, spending millions if not billions searching for beings that did not originate on planet Earth.
Really, they needn’t have bothered. I could have told them about my first alien encounter for free. It happened three years ago at a gala, where the great and good of London were gathered. Towards the end of the evening, a prominent politician gave a speech. He moved the crowd to laughter and cheers with his textbook public-school delivery and his cultivated, dishevelled charm. When he descended from the stage, a swarm of fans surrounded him.
I too drew closer to gawp at the embodiment of power and celebrity. And that was when I saw it. The waxy pallor of his face: a close approximation but not quite accurate simulacrum of human skin. The jerky movements that added comedy on stage but now seemed out of place in the personal conversations he was having. And lastly the eyes: dead and lifeless. The alien inside had fallen asleep and put his body suit on autopilot.
Since then, I’ve observed that alien life forms seem to drift towards politics. From Washington to New Delhi to Nairobi, the aliens are on the rise and plotting world domination every night in their secret Twitter language of covfefe. One only has to look at the state of the planet – climate change out of control, never-ending wars, refugee crises – to agree that extra-terrestrials determined to destroy it must be running things.
And they are getting bolder. The Nigerian president, Muhammadu Buhari, has been missing for over a month on sick leave. Nothing has been heard from him, except an audio clip. Perhaps Anonymous will soon confirm my suspicions that there has been an alien abduction.
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